a year in review, of sorts
A bit late, but better late than never. A collection of journal excerpts and photos from a wonderful year. I concluded my nomad journey and settled into a new city. Made new friends, fell in love, and built awesome things with incredible friends.
Read thoroughly or skim casually; I’m just grateful you’re here and I’m grateful to everyone who made this a beautiful year of discovery and adventure. If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s the power of establishing rituals and how seemingly-insignificant actions can compound and blossom over time.
settling in to Boulder, CO #
Above else, feeling gratitude.
- For being able to make it back to my home country without issue.
- For having traveled so far and so long without seriously injuring myself.
- For the friends I have across the world who can just pick me up from a random airport and bring me to a house and live and smoke together.
- For the money I have right now, giving me some sense of space to think about next steps.
- For the friends I can call up and share my thoughts and emotions with and get comforted by.
- For access to therapy and a support network on the internet and in person.
- For my health and my happiness with my own body.
- For my ability to walk and talk and communicate and learn and discover things and enjoy the world.
I want to live near nature. I want to live near my friends. I want to make more friends. I want to go on romantic walks in the forest and sleep and make breakfast together. I want to exercise in the morning, write in the afternoon, and code in the evenings. I want to garden, build fences, and invent cool little contraptions.
Are we all nomads, just temporarily deluding ourselves into having something resembling permanence and stability and roots? Or is there something staying in a single place gets you which mobility can not?
A sense of grounding, a connectedness to those and that around you? What do you give up in that state? What has being a nomad let me see about the world that is not easily seen from a place of stability?
creativity & ritual #
hammock time + weed + sleep + creative time = happy Jon
found a nice little spot, hidden away in the trees. it was gently raining, the smell was so fresh and calming. water trickling in the river. just a perfect environment. safe, nurturing, calming.
The little things. focus on the local. Daily rituals. Enjoy the small moments. Build community. Learn things. Enjoy good company. Write things. Plant things.
just have to sit down and write every day. if I can do that, I can do basically anything.
I would like to have more reading time in my schedule. more of it outside in my hammock on long hikes. less reliance on my phone and the schedule it imposes on my living. more flexible arrangements, more sunrises and sunsets outside, more creating campfires, more overnight stays outside, more barefoot walking, more stretching in the sun, more writing outside
but I want to write right now. I want to code. Mostly I want to create. it’s the funnest thing to do. I should do it more. Any of it, but with intent.
I am surrounded by brilliant people. How do I help them share their creations with the world? How do I offer myself as a co-collaborator and co-builder? How do I learn from them to more deeply and intimately explore my own sensibilities and create my own things to share with the world?
The amount of humility you need to keep producing things, things that are true to you and not out of what you think the audience wants to hear. Because that stuff doesn’t matter. It’s all noise.
What matters is using your sensors to pick up what is out there in the world, what wants to be expressed. Opening oneself up to it, channeling it, and releasing it into the world.
There’s a world of possibility here. What do I choose? Who do I invest my time into?
More importantly, how do I stay true to my values and my core principles?
on shared existence #
the genuine difficulty in aligning a bunch of people in a place towards ideas about shared identity, governance, and funding. These things are hard. No matter the shape: co-op, investment fund, neighborhood club treasury, community council budgets, church yearly planning meetings
feeling how much pain there is in the world. There is no guidebook on how to do this thing (life). We’re all just figuring it out as we go.
Sometimes we’ll orient incorrectly and just injure each other more. Sometimes we actually do orient correctly, growing in positive sum feedback loops of self-improvement, learning, and communication.
Everyone wants similar things at the end of the day: safety, belonging & acceptance, a place to rest their head, right to express themselves and enjoy pleasure.
my life is amazing but also i’m going a million fucking miles an hour and it might not hurt to slow down a bit and smell the flowers
you’re not going to save humanity by yourself. it will only be in the sensitive, fun cooperation with the broadest set of people imaginable, known and unknown
I would do well from more long walks, painting, tending plants, farming, biking, survival learning, hiking.
on dating again and falling in love #
I know I can find the physical, emotional, creative, and intellectual intimacy I crave with someone willing to build a life together. I am worthy of love, and until then I have the opportunity to explore myself and the world.
“What does Jon want in an intimate relationship?”
“someone I can play in creative collaborative space with”
Trying to remember there are many more people on this planet than what the apps are showing me.
above all they must be a kind person. Someone who respects life, who respects other people, who respects themselves.
How do I find people like that in the world? What little serendipitous encounter might lead to that world opening up?
this is a game. it’s organic. it’s playful. don’t overthink it. take it day by day. my brain yesterday almost exploded at trying to see into the future about what might happen here. it was too much.
there’s good potential but it’s all potential, none of it actualized until we spend time together, learn what the other likes and dislikes, encounter arguments and disagreements and incompatibilities. this all takes time.
Perfect consent or complete creativity. Can’t have both.
How we give each other space to continue being the humans that we are. Without expectation of conformity or change for the other, but the welcoming of growth into who we might become, as individuals and as a couple.
wonderful friends all around #
Thanks for reading. I hope you have a great rest of your year, too.